It's a blessing that Halle's grandparents live no more than two blocks away. On beautiful days, I leave work as early as possible (just kidding. Kinda.) so that I can stroll Halle home. Taking her on walks is in my Top Ten list of Most Thoroughly Pacifying Things To Do - right up there with bodysurfing and making echoes in large, quiet places.
There is something slightly awkward about half of the walk though: pushing an empty stroller.
It used to be a lot more awkward. These days I try not to care whilst scheming obnoxious ways I could mess with the people that give me weird looks. As of today, I have resisted the urge to:
1) Put an empty bottle of vodka in the cupholder
2) Cross my eyes, drool and sing "Rockabye Baby" all mumbly.
3) Put a doll in the seat and pretend I'm babynapping it.
4) Park on the curb, look into the sewer and yell, "It's not funny anymore!"
Why? Because I could. But I'm not gonna. 'Cause that would really be crazy.
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My mom's friend richard would cradle my head and pretend to smack me into the poles at grocery stores. It was pretty realistic. Each time he would say "I'm sorry baby" in that weird, rather effeminate voice he had. My mom was MORTIFIED. To this day, I can't wait to give it a try...
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