Get on the float

...the banana float! Which is four feet long and advertised as a "banana canoe".

It's been almost thirteen years since my family moved to NC from FL, where we had a pool. The newest thing to hit pools those last years were "noodles", the styrofoamy floating.. well, noodles. In thirteen years, the pool float has evolved! It's become very clear (though it worries me slightly) that people want to get drunk in their pool.
This thing is HUGE! Wouldn't it be fun to have like, fifteen of these and play "bumper swans" in the reflection pool in DC? Not that that sort of thing is generally tolerated...

It would be fun to pair this pretzel float with the banana floats.

This floating light and water show is only fifty bucks on eBay. Batteries and hallucinogens are not included.

This is actually a toy for frat boys inspired by the find-a-treat dog balls.

Just don't roll it too fast! I hear that getting sick in a pool is worse than peeing in one.